Living with an Open Heart

I could keep my heart safe away in a box with a lock and key, for no one to reach in and for me to not reach out. Too much exposure, too much risk, too much uncertainty.... it's not safe to live that way. How will I know how my heart will be returned to me - in what state, in what condition? Will it have new scars? Will it be torn apart? I don't know what will happen, i think to myself - it's better if for now it stays in a box with a lock and a key.

But it's lonely and dark in this hiding place. Without life, without hope, without feeling. It might be 'safe' here, but I feel dead. This is not how I want to live nor how I was created to live.

So I decide to open the box with the lock and key and let my heart out. I decide to try and live with an open heart. To let you in and to let me out. And I was right, there was too much exposure, too much risk, too much uncertainty, too much fear... but to my surprise there was also life, love, new memories made, new closeness shared, acceptance and care.

I let you in and I let myself out - maybe not fully and maybe not everyday. But I did open up my heart - I learned to live and to feel again and even though my heart may hurt today for things not fulfilled and for disappointed hopes. I will keep on living with an open heart. Knowing that even with the risks, the pain and the questions - there is life and newness, joy to be known, and love to be shared.

Giving you the gift of myself is a gift I am willing to give as I live with an open heart.